old el paso, symmetry

back at home!  so exhausted and sore today; i've slept basically all day.  not sure why as I was feeling decent last night.  i did just force myself to go to target as i desperately needed some mouthwash, along with bendy straws (my new eating utensils) and kleenex (nose still running and still drooling).  a little apprehensive about starting work again monday because i tire so easily, but i think i can do it and will try to take it easy.

i instragram-ed the crap out of all the photos on my phone when i was bored flying home, lol.  here i am looking a lot more normal than previously seen since surgery. taken on thursday at my last surgeon's appointment, post-op day 13.  it's pretty incredible how quickly the body heals itself.  my stitches are starting to disintegrate now.

my surgeon told me that he, his colleagues, residents, and students present their upcoming surgical cases during a weekly meeting, and everyone was all, yikes, that case is going to be extremely difficult (due to the side to side asymmetry correction instead of the normal under/overbite moving forward and back of the jaws).  glad he had the discretion not to tell me that before surgery.  he was visibly genuinely delighted with the results during my last appointment.  that made me feel pretty good!

i have to keep reminding myself that they weren't meant to fix the soft tissue, just the bite.  even though i don't see much difference from the outside, the correction made should be great in the long run for my teeth and jaw joint pain, and that was the purpose.  you can see that my lips (i.e. soft tissue) are still crooked resembling the slant of my (old) jaw.  can't do much about that, unless i want to go plastic surgery insane.

no one's face is perfectly symmetrical, of course i know that, and people often haven't noticed my crooked-ness.  i've even perused some scholarly articles during my recovery that suggest facial assymetry creates the perception of likeability and also that the generally held idea that more symmetry equals more beauty is not always true.  when i analyze my thoughts, it's interesting to me that although the surgery was not primarily for cosmetic reasons, i pinned hopes of cosmetic improvement on it.  i feel a little disappointed that while there is improvement, it is not shocking.  however, i probably would be even more psychologically upset by a drastic change anyway. :)  

i returned home with my "maxillomandibullar fixation" (screws in gums to hold my rubber bands).  do NOT google image that term or you will be sorry, trust me on that one.  i'll have to get them removed in like three weeks or so.  removal freaks me out cause they are pretty chunky (like it seems i'll have gaping holes in my gums afterwards, what happens with that??)

below you will find my awesomely orange and liquid last meal before i left for the airport.  thai iced tea and panang curry sauce.  that's right folks, just the sauce.  and it was GOOOOOOOD.