boo

muahahaha

ugh

day 2 post-op - i'm hanging out in the hotel in b-more with my mom.  hanging pretty much constitutes dozing on and off for 30 min - 2 hours, having a wee bit of water or ensure syringed into my mouth, jamming one of my many medicines past my teeth and down my throat, drooling, attempting to swallow, pacing around the hotel 4th floor (when i ran into people it was sort of funny), sleeping again, etc etc.  my face is really really swollen, and it feels like it's going to explode out of this constraining bandage which i have to keep wearing at least til my appointment with my surgeon tomorrow.  uncomfortable to say the very least.  i have something unexpected happening in my mouth - they drilled in little hook things on the left and right side of my top and bottom jaws that they have put rubber bands on.  this grosses me out more that the entire cuts through my jaws somehow. :)  i can't feel my lips, nose, or chin, and only can feel my cheeks a little.  here's a pic of pathetic me and one of my cutie mom who has been putting up with me like a champ.

discharge

i'm getting to go home. well to the hotel. i will write more then when i have my laptop.

loopy

i am out of surgery but can't write much bc i'm seeing double and am out of it. things went well!

oh, baltimore

yesterday, my last day at work, was stressful. we had a huge event to execute which was very tiring.  spent all day lugging things, running around with my proverbial head cut off, making inane announcements on the mic, etc.  i managed to get myself sunburnt too.  i finally got done with the event and then i got an email which says that there is a problem with my insurance claim for the surgery.  the surgical coordinator kept telling me it would surely be covered with no problem, but the insurance decided that my measurements were not drastic enough for them to approve it (i.e. the problem and my complications weren't severe enough in their opinion).  nooooooooooooooo.

i was very upset and wavering on whether i should do the surgery if i have to pay myself (i can appeal the denial but i shouldn't get my hopes up).  at like 3 am today i decided to go ahead because my well-being is more important to me than the money.  i could wait until the problem gets worse, as it has been worsening quite a bit as i age, but i am wearing my teeth down and having aching jaws in the meantime, and for me that's no bueno.  i'm a little bummed obviously about the financial burden.  however, i'm just gonna roll with it and consider it as an investment in having an enriched life, like my masters degree but less painful.  HAHA!

anyway, my awesome mommy drove herself all the way from detroit to baltimore today and picked me up at the airport.  i initially refused her offer to come but relented and now i'm really glad to have the support. i'd probably be a nervous wreck sitting in this hotel room alone.  i have eaten my last meal, of cheese pizza that the girl at the hotel front desk gave us randomly.   i'll be on a liquid diet for six weeks.  (!)  i was planning to have some sort of grandiose feast tonight but i'm really not hungry and it's getting late.

gotta report at six am and then my surgery starts at 7:15. probably lasts six hours or so.  the reality of this craziness i'm about to endure has not really sunk in yet. just so tired from the last few days.  i hope to report back soon.  at that point i think the reality will have sunk in a bit. :D

full disclosure

honestly i usually have deleted, trashed or untagged pics that really show the asymmetry in my jaw because i always was like 'ugh that's a terrible picture.'  even though that's the way i actually look, hahah.  but here i am in my crooked glory.

the lovely lady on the right in this picture is my friend kate. i'm going to be staying with her to recuperate for about 2 weeks before i go back to el paso.  in advance, i will say, she's a REALLY GOOD FRIEND for doing this for me! :)

the procedure

i am having a Lefort I osteotomy and a BSSO (bilateral sagital split osteotomy). those basically mean upper jaw and lower jaw surgery, respectively.  most of the time people have these procedures to correct a severe overbite or underbite.  you can see in these videos what the procedure consists of.  

my case is more unique (special, yay) because i'm asymmetrical from side to side instead of over/underbite.  they will do similar cuts and just adjust jaws up and down instead of back and forth, if that makes sense.  luckily my teeth were pretty good already so i didn't have to have braces (again).

the yellow rope thing is a big nerve. will be numb for a while. hope i don't drool too much, and also hope that i regain all the feeling in my face. :/

i got issues, ya'll

welcome to my crooked jaw

in the above profile shot, check out the jawline. see how there's the one side of the jaw which is lighter white overlapping on the grey?  those are the two sides of my jaw.  normally they should match up so you don't see a difference.

when i saw this one above, i was like, dangggggg i'm a mad crooked skeleton.  both the upper jaw (the upper teeth part that's kind of attached to the nose) and the lower are slanted.  the lower is worse by a little.

because the lower one is a little worse, my teeth smash togther on the one side and don't touch much at all on the other.  this causes facial tension and pain.  i'm sexy and i know it!

scurrrred

last night i had a nightmare about my surgery and recovery.  i overslept for the surgery. my tongue was cut in half and then stiched together. one of my teeth cracked and was hanging by a thread, then i finally pulled it out. i threw up solid stuff, and thought it was a piece of my tongue.  my jaw had an indentation on either side that looked like they took a triangle punch out of each side of the jaw bone.  i looked like an alien.

i woke up with that omg-so-relieved-that-was-just-a-dream feeling.  you don't need to be an analyst to deduce i must be experiencing some apprehension.  though, in my conscious thought i'm much more focused on everything i have to do at work before i go, and what i need to do when i get back to work.

on monday i go back to the incompetent general practioner doctor to get my surgical clearance form finally completed.  he didn't examine me properly nor have me fill out my health history so that he could complete the form. durrrr.  thursday i fly to baltimore and friday at six am i report to the hospital for surgery.